Friday, June 24, 2011

It's All Part of the Plan: Gandhi, Mother Teresa and Professional Basketball

When I was in my late teens, I had a copy of a Jane's Addiction album wherein Perry Farrell shares a poem. At one point, he says, "I get off on athletes when they start getting all inspirational. Then they gotta go and mention Jesus and ruin it." That statement called to my young brain, already atheist from about second grade.

I'm not going to knock anyone's spirituality herein. I know plenty of people who practice all kinds of religions, so this post is not about the validity, comfort or anything else religion might provide to a person. As long as you're not using religion to establish "us" and "them" camps or to excuse violence in the world, then I have no beef with you and what you believe. (I'd ask the same respect for my lack of belief in return.)

Today, what I'm talking about is that athlete thing. I saw a story about twin brothers who were both recently chosen as NBA draft picks. In their elation, one was quoted as thanking God for their good fortune in both being picked for teams. He then went on to say that he believes he is fulfilling God's plan, along with his brother, and that he's really happy that God's plan is exactly their plan. Holy Coincidence, Batman! (Sorry about such a bad pun crossed with a pop-culture reference).

Now, I don't want to come off as assuming I can speak on behalf of any god. Yet, since this athlete seems to think he knows what God is planning, I guess I will go out on a limb herein and challenge him (the basketball player, not God--although, if there is one, I would be just fine challenging him/her/it, too, but I'll save that for another day.) What I want to know is this: how can you be so narcissistic as to believe that God would have basketball as part of a "plan" for you? I mean, I can see Gandhi or Mother Teresa as possibly divinely intended long before professional basketball.

Yes, I am sure if these brothers make gazillions of dollars, then give a few million away to create some kind of basketball clinic or fund a children's hospital, that could possibly be considered a divine plan. It might be a way for God to accomplish the ultimate goal of helping kids play basketball or be treated (if they have health insurance) for illness and injury. It's a bit of a round-about way of reaching such a goal, but hey, I've already assumed the role of almighty omniscience once in this article, so why not stretch a bit more. Of course, to me, the basketball clinic or children's hospital smacks more of a big tax break with lots of positive publicity rather than sincere altruism. (As an atheist, is it not my job to be cynical?)

Nonetheless, I implore future recipients of awards, honors and big contracts with lots of zeros after the first numbers to refrain from being so full of themselves that they think any deity would have their fame and fortune as part of some "plan." Then again, maybe God is very busy planning who is going to win the Final Four and can't do something about all the nasty, unpleasant famine, disease and war. As a mother, I totally understand the whole "number of hours in a day" thing and that we must make choices about what really needs our attention. I'm writing this blog, for instance, rather than caring for the sick or leading the poor to peaceful, effective revolt. I avoid my own unpleasant household tasks with other distractions whenever possible (Facebook, anyone?). Hey, maybe God can address some of that unpleasant, nasty stuff during the commercials after typing an update on Twitter! Another, oft-heard phrase comes to mind to explain the basketball-picks-before-solving-hunger thing: God works in mysterious ways. Mysterious, indeed.

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