Sunday, June 12, 2011

The "Emperor" Takes a Walk

I’m a bit confused about the so-called “slut walk.” Why is it a “slut” walk? Is it because of the way the women dress when what they’re saying is that walking around in your bra or a super-short skirt and heels does not mean you are a slut, seeking sexual activity or even any attention at all? Isn’t a walk (parade, demonstration, etc.) a way to demand attention? To my understanding, women who participate in the “slut” walks are asking that men (and women) not react in any way to their appearance or wardrobe choices. They want men to see them on the street wearing a bra, a short, tight skirt and heels and to react as if they are wearing paint-splattered sweatpants, or they seek “zero” reaction to their appearance whatsoever.

Throughout history men and women have sometimes dressed provocatively, to well, provoke a reaction in men or women. I understand that the underlying message in the slut walks is supposed to be about rape, about increasing rape convictions and not blaming victims. I know that women, at every stage of life from infancy to old age are raped regardless of what they’re wearing. In fact, there are healthcare workers who rape anesthetized and comatose women and there are also people who rape the dead. I agree that provocative clothing is not an invitation to rape. I do not believe it is not an invitation to attention of a sexual nature. When I say “attention,” I mean just that. I mean being approached or spoken to by someone interested in what you seem to be offering by what you’re wearing.

Whether we like it or not, clothing is a visual cue. It is not, I reiterate, an invitation to sex and definitely not permission to rape (an oxymoronic phrase, of course). However, when I see someone in a shirt that says “Texaco” on one pocket and “Joe” on the other, I don’t think it is too outrageous of me to make an initial assumption that the person is an employee of the Texaco company and that he or she goes by the name “Joe.” Yes, there are the ironic hipsters who wear clothing with logos and names not their own. If I interact with a person I see wearing a Texaco/Joe shirt, I will find out more about him or her. I will find out if he or she works for Texaco, possibly, and whether his or her name is Joe. While I will make some assumptions from my initial visualization of this person, I will not make any judgments solely based on his or her clothing. My judgments will be about the person’s behavior more than his or her clothes. (I know, I know, we shouldn’t “judge” anybody.)

Thus, while we might see a woman dressed in a bra and short, tight skirt and heels and assume she seeks our attention in a more rather than less sexual way, I agree that catcalls or overtly sexual gestures are not appropriate reactions. Men or women might approach her and find out who she is. Men or women can talk with her to make a human connection, and only then know if her clothing is a message of possible interest in attraction or if she is merely most comfortable wearing this style of dress and is actually wishing to be left alone and not be approached at all. Possibly, she is a sketch artist and just wants to sit on a bench, sketchbook and pencil in hand, drawing the scenery. Maybe she is walking to an interview as a nanny or nurse. Maybe she’s in a bar having a drink after a hard day as a bank manager. (Maybe her jacket is at the office and the skirt is hiked up for no apparent reason and certainly not to attract any attention.)

What I’d like to point out is that the situation is the same for men. If they want to be taken seriously, they will not show up for a job interview shirtless and in cut-off jeans. They will also not go to a bar that way if they aren’t seeking women’s (or men's) attention. The cut-off jeans and shirtless chest do not mean that the man is interested in sex. They definitely don’t mean the guy wants to be raped, either.

What I want to know from the “slut walkers” is what they really want. If they seek to raise awareness of appalling conviction rates in rape cases, terrific! If they seek to keep awareness in general about the fact that clothing does not entitle anyone to sex, that is also important. If they are asking that men and women ignore whatever it is that they have on their bodies (or don’t have on), I’m not sure that is possible. Clothing has always told a story of sorts throughout history. It has told the status or occupation of a person, it demonstrates a person’s affinity for a sports team, a band, or his or her support of a particular maker of clothing. And, even when we wear non-branded clothing where the label is only on the inside, we’re still sending a message.

I also have to ask the “slut” walkers if their true intent is that no one ever reacts to what another person is wearing. Thus, if there was a clothing shortage and Nazi uniforms were found in a warehouse, millions could don the uniform and no one would worry or judge the person wearing the uniform as one who is possibly racist. A New Yorker might wear a Red Sox t-shirt to the next home game and not feel self-conscious cheering when a Yankee’s player hit a homerun. He should also expect that in a bar after the game, no one will assume he’s a Red Sox fan, but will rather approach him and start up a conversation in total ignorance of the person’s t-shirt. The next time a “slut walker” goes to her child’s high school for a meeting with her child's male (for sake of my subsequent description herein) teacher, she will not seek a man in a button-down shirt and dress pants but rather ask each passing male in low-slung basketball shorts, a baseball hat backwards and a rock band t-shirt if he is the teacher she seeks. Otherwise, she’s making assumptions based on clothing, which she is clearly against.

So, for the record: Yes! No means no. No! Clothing of any type or a lack thereof does not constitute an invitation to sex, or permission to rape. Yes! Rapists should be convicted of their crimes whether their victims are eighty and wearing a thong and bustier in the proverbial dark alley at night or are twenty and wearing a turtleneck and overalls and working on a hiking trail clean-up crew. However, demanding that our clothing is not seen is asking everyone to don the “Emperor’s New Clothes.” 

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