This morning, my husband read a Fox "news" (sarcasm intended) report about an upcoming video game, Bullet Storm. The game features truly over-the-top (think Tarantino-esque) battle sequences, language and interactions between characters. The game is rated "M" for mature, by the independent game ratings organization, much the same as with ratings in the film industry. The "M" is equal to the "R" rating, or sometimes NC-17 rating for films.
The "news" report cited the problems with a game like this, and how the exposure to violence, swearing and the depiction of violent sexual acts leads to violent crime and rape in society, especially when games like this are played by gamers as young as nine. Pro-free-speech and pro-gamer groups cite the rating as an indication that children will not be playing this game very much. However, those typically promoting "small government" are on the bandwagon hoping to ban these kinds of games entirely. They feel that the rating is not enough, and that retailers will sell these games to children, regardless of ratings or laws that do not allow such sales, yet do not carry stiff fines or other punishments on retailers who do not enforce the ratings or sales policies.
What I want to know is this: how does a nine year old get to a video game store to buy such a thing without a parent? I also want to know where a nine year old gets the $60 this game costs. I would expect the ride would be from a parent and that the cash (or credit card provided) also belongs to the said driving parent. Thus, we must assume that the parent is the one who allows a child, as young as nine, to purchase a game rated for adults only.
I also believe, firmly, that the reason for violence in society is far less related to violent movies or video games and far more related to the lack of parenting and conversation between parents and children.
The other question I will ask is this: is Bullet Storm (its mere title alone should give a clue as to its content) what contributes to violence and rape in our society any more than programs such as Jersey Shore? I mean, when I see a preview for such a program, it incites a violent tendency in me. It doesn't lead me to respect women or their bodies either, since the program seems as if it depicts women devaluing their own selves. This program is on regular television and is probably seen by more nine year olds than most "M" rated video games. I have seen Nick and Nora's Infinite Play List as well as Midnight Cowboy. I have to say that I would rather my thirteen-year-old see the latter than the former, which is rated PG-13 to Midnight Cowboy's infamous "X" rating, the equivalent to today's NC-17. I see the preview for Jersey Shore and it makes me think of that old Paris-Hilton-on-a-farm show as PBS programming.
While I would certainly have a conversation (the "c" word in most family homes since it is avoided at all costs) with my teen before and after watching Midnight Cowboy, the extent of the conversation and its content would be far less than what was required after we viewed, as a family, Nick and Nora. Personally, having viewed the Bullet Storm preview, I think the game can be described as what you'd imagine a game would look like if Quentin Tarantino left the film industry to make a video game. Then again, what is the difference between watching or interacting with Kill Bill?
Oh, and just like televisions and computers can be set to disallow access to various websites or programs, so, too, can an xbox be set to not play "M" rated games. Of course, most parents who complain about this kind of thing do not even know that much about the xbox, do not research, watch or discuss the games their children request, and thereby do not parent in the active verb sense of that word. THIS is what leads to violence in society and to sexual violence against women.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Thursday, February 17, 2011
PB and What Kind of J?
The posts have been pretty serious of late, so I thought I'd lighten things up.A friend shared a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with me last week, and it was made with strawberry jam. It got me thinking about jelly/jam and people's preferences. For the most part, I think our preferences are somewhat like hair color, only slightly less genetic of course, and more from the "nurture" than "nature" camp. Most of us likely prefer the flavors with which we grew up. If your mother or father (or whomever made the PBJs in your house) bought and prepared a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with strawberry jam, then you grow up and use strawberry. My mom used grape usually. I like grape, but as an adult prefer raspberry. My mom bought raspberry sometimes since that is what my father preferred. However, I think grape was cheaper, so it won out as the "preferred" by default.
As an adult, raspberry is probably my favorite. I still like grape. I love more exotic flavors like Stonewall Kitchen's gourmet raspberry, peach champagne, or even just plain peach. Blueberry is pretty tasty, too. While I was more than thankful and grateful for the PBJ on wheat I got from my friend at work, I have to say I'm not a strawberry jam person. It was fine in a pinch. I'd just never buy strawberry jam.
Feel free to weigh in on this all-important topic. What's your favorite jelly/jam flavor? Smooth or chunky peanut butter? What kind of bread do you prefer for this delicacy of convenience and nostalgia?
P.S. Thanks to Stonewall Kitchens for "lending" me their image. I assume they won't mind since I'm complimenting and promoting their products in this post.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Feminist Dystopia?
Laura Cude is a British writer I read regularly at HerCircle Ezine, to which I subscribe. Her latest piece is a reflection on whether Atwood's, The Handmaid's Tale is a dystopian novel, albeit a feminist one in the almost all-male genre, and if so, why is it not included in lists of "must-reads" or when dystopian novels are brought up in articles or discussions? I have never read the novel myself to date, even while I've re-read Orwell and Huxley. That can be quickly rectified by grabbing my nook and having the book instantly in my hands. (Ah, the convenience of modern technology, dystopian novel be damned!)
As an instant reaction to Cude's article, I considered Fight Club and its male author yet its feminist (in my opinion) theme with the male character finding wholeness and growth through his relationship with the female character, which is representative of feminist relational development theory. Below I quote my comment at the HerCircle website:
I, too, have somehow never read this book. However, I will now read it. With my handy nook, I can go online (hopefully) and find it in e-book format for immediate reading. That aside, I wonder whether you've read Fight Club? (or whether you've seen the movie) I realize it was written by a man, however, I also think this man is particularly interesting in the dystopian novel genre for his perspectives.
On the surface, Fight Club seems all-male, and testosterone-fueled. I, myself, resisted seeing it as it was advertised. When it went to video (yes, that dinosaur VHS), I resisted it each time my husband and I went to the store to rent a film. I kept telling him I didn't want to watch men beat each other up for two hours. When I finally saw the film, after it was continually recommended by people I respected, I was blown away, and not just by the story itself with the plot twist ending.
I went and read the book, which has a different ending. Both endings are terrific. However, the book is far more chilling in the end. It's Shelley's warning in Frankenstein about being careful what you create man (and by that I mean specifically the male as creator in the world).
I had already read Susan Faludi's, Stiffed, and could not help but compare what I saw in Fight Club to Faludi's thesis. You see, in the end, it is the character's love for the woman that saves him from himself. He is able to overcome a very serious psychosis due to the power of love and the relationship in which he finds himself. (Yes, yes, can of worms that all is aside.)
Rather than Winston ultimately betraying Julia in 1984, the Fight Club character redeems himself in light of his care, love and personal growth that comes from his relationship with Marla. This is an exact example of feminist theories of growth such as relational development. Thus, the fact that Fight Club was written by a male author is even more interesting as we examine literary history and the dystopian novel's development. The female character, as flawed as she seems in Fight Club as an "ideal" feminist woman, is, at her heart, at least still sane despite the society in which she lives. She has issues, for sure, yet not nearly the extent of issues of the male character. In the end, she advocates for herself, and even when she is detained by the main male character's minions, he is thereby "cured" and brought to a kind of wholeness as the result of his care for her. What could be more feminist than someone finding growth, redemption and a sense of caring for the entire world, community and society through relationship?
If you have a chance to dialog about this, I'd be very interested in your thoughts. I will also go and read Atwood's book to see what that has to say. As your comments hint toward, I wonder if the fact that Atwood's text is not science fiction is what makes it hard for people to read. I am not sure, however, since when I re-read 1984 or Brave New World, as I do now and again, I find them less science fiction than prophecy or self-fulfilling prophecy. We can't go anywhere in the United States without television. While it might not be "two-way" t.v. (yet), it is ubiquitous and inescapable. The nature of what is presented is merely self-policed, with no need for "Big Brother" as people pressure one another into viewing or view those as suspect who do not watch. It is far worse than Orwell could even imagine it. A glance at birthing practices, again, especially in the U.S., will also show what has come true from Brave New World.
As an instant reaction to Cude's article, I considered Fight Club and its male author yet its feminist (in my opinion) theme with the male character finding wholeness and growth through his relationship with the female character, which is representative of feminist relational development theory. Below I quote my comment at the HerCircle website:
I, too, have somehow never read this book. However, I will now read it. With my handy nook, I can go online (hopefully) and find it in e-book format for immediate reading. That aside, I wonder whether you've read Fight Club? (or whether you've seen the movie) I realize it was written by a man, however, I also think this man is particularly interesting in the dystopian novel genre for his perspectives.
On the surface, Fight Club seems all-male, and testosterone-fueled. I, myself, resisted seeing it as it was advertised. When it went to video (yes, that dinosaur VHS), I resisted it each time my husband and I went to the store to rent a film. I kept telling him I didn't want to watch men beat each other up for two hours. When I finally saw the film, after it was continually recommended by people I respected, I was blown away, and not just by the story itself with the plot twist ending.
I went and read the book, which has a different ending. Both endings are terrific. However, the book is far more chilling in the end. It's Shelley's warning in Frankenstein about being careful what you create man (and by that I mean specifically the male as creator in the world).
I had already read Susan Faludi's, Stiffed, and could not help but compare what I saw in Fight Club to Faludi's thesis. You see, in the end, it is the character's love for the woman that saves him from himself. He is able to overcome a very serious psychosis due to the power of love and the relationship in which he finds himself. (Yes, yes, can of worms that all is aside.)
Rather than Winston ultimately betraying Julia in 1984, the Fight Club character redeems himself in light of his care, love and personal growth that comes from his relationship with Marla. This is an exact example of feminist theories of growth such as relational development. Thus, the fact that Fight Club was written by a male author is even more interesting as we examine literary history and the dystopian novel's development. The female character, as flawed as she seems in Fight Club as an "ideal" feminist woman, is, at her heart, at least still sane despite the society in which she lives. She has issues, for sure, yet not nearly the extent of issues of the male character. In the end, she advocates for herself, and even when she is detained by the main male character's minions, he is thereby "cured" and brought to a kind of wholeness as the result of his care for her. What could be more feminist than someone finding growth, redemption and a sense of caring for the entire world, community and society through relationship?
If you have a chance to dialog about this, I'd be very interested in your thoughts. I will also go and read Atwood's book to see what that has to say. As your comments hint toward, I wonder if the fact that Atwood's text is not science fiction is what makes it hard for people to read. I am not sure, however, since when I re-read 1984 or Brave New World, as I do now and again, I find them less science fiction than prophecy or self-fulfilling prophecy. We can't go anywhere in the United States without television. While it might not be "two-way" t.v. (yet), it is ubiquitous and inescapable. The nature of what is presented is merely self-policed, with no need for "Big Brother" as people pressure one another into viewing or view those as suspect who do not watch. It is far worse than Orwell could even imagine it. A glance at birthing practices, again, especially in the U.S., will also show what has come true from Brave New World.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
War: what is it good for?
As a family, we're watching The Pacific as the episodes arrive via our Netflix subscription. I have said this many times before, but it is worth repeating: I am convinced that if women ruled the world, specifically mothers, I suppose, there would be no war. I do not believe that mothers would ever send their children off to kill the children of other mothers. It is futile and ridiculous. It solves nothing.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Dirty Feet From the Van
We live at the top of a private street that is a dirt road. The road leads downhill as there is a lake behind/below our house. Behind/below us, there are two houses on the right and two on the left. The house to the furthest left is owned by someone who lives outside of town. He rents the property to a couple who seem about middle-aged or a bit older, possibly. The next house is owned by people for whom we have a pet name, and not an affectionate but rather offensive name. The third house is owned by a young professional guy, whom we rarely see. The house furthest on the right is owned by a family with a child the same age as my daughter. They are not friends.
The "last house on the right" houses a dysfunctional family. The male head of household is not the father of the two boys. One boy now seems to go to work since graduating from high school. However, he was a known and convicted drug dealer at one point. His worst offense is driving his truck at a high rate of speed up and down the dirt road. His younger brother, the same age as Claudia, is a bit more troublesome as he is regularly dropped off sometime between midnight and four or five in the morning, and instead of driving him to his own driveway, his friends stop directly in front of our house with their music blaring and lights shining, open and close car doors several times and then turn around in our driveway, which causes our dogs to bark between those hours of the night. Once the car leaves, the boy regularly serenades us, at the top of his lungs, as he meanders drunken/drugged down the road to his house.
The other family, the one with the disparaging nickname, wreaks all kinds of havoc in our life and has since we moved here five years ago. It began with the trash. This family does not use trash bags. They "recycle" plastic bags from Target and other stores. These do not tie closed, of course, and so attract animals and birds that tear the contents of the bags apart and all over our lawn. Because of the private street, all trash goes at the corner, which happens to be our yard. This family also puts the trash out at night, so the animals have all night to get into the contents. Yes, there is a law in town that says trash is to be put out the morning of trash pick up. No, this family does not heed this law. They do not heed the other trash rules, such as using a purple trash bag after filling one trash bag. They place piles of torn up linoleum right on our lawn, which, of course, the trash people do not take. They let styrofoam meat packaging blow off their recycling bin across our lawn. The birds and animals pull apart the small non-trash plastic bags they use for trash and we find chicken bones, used menstrual products and all manner of bio-hazard trash in our yard spring, summer and fall. The trash department has repeatedly sent them letters about proper trash handling, to no avail.
This family did not license a dog they had, nor did they keep its vaccinations up to date, so when their vicious dog escaped from them and attacked our dog in our own yard one day, our dog was quarantined as a risk for rabies for several weeks. Their dog was vicious because it did not get out to get exercise and it was regularly tied out in the hot sun to a rotting camper-trailer in their yard. It was left without water in the sun. The tie was less than six feet long as it was a leash, not a real rope or chain, even. We felt badly about causing them trouble by calling the dog officer, but it was animal abuse as far as we were concerned.
So, rather than tie the dog out, the father in the family would come home from work and walk the dog up the street, to our yard, to let the dog crap and pee in our yard along the edge of the road/grass. Yes, there are dog doo-doo laws in our town. No, these people do not care. It was apparent that after getting a letter from us with the vet bill for our mangled Chihuahua, which they took six months to pay, that the father in the house felt we somehow deserved to be shit upon, literally.
The son, also not the biological child of the male head of household in their home, was two years ahead of Claudia in school. He started selling drugs three years ago right out in the open down the street. For two years, we reported the activity and license plates of the cars that came by full of high school kids, to the police. They did nothing. While it was not ideal having someone dealing drugs a hundred feet from our house, it would not have been so bad if the kids buying drugs did not come and go at all hours of the day and night, with loud music, slamming doors and speeding on the short, dirt road. We were concerned more about them running over one of our dogs or kids than about the drug dealing itself. Let's be realistic: it's everywhere. Thankfully, the son graduated and moved out, with the vicious dog.
The latest infraction with the winter weather we've had is that the ill-named neighbor now parks at the top of the street, perpendicular to the main road. They drive an old van. Thus, when you are trying to pull out of the street, it's like having a stockade fence to your right that meets the road onto which you're turning. I cannot believe it is legal to park like this. I consider the City of Worcester, where we used to live, and Cambridge or Boston as examples and think that the police would have already ticketed and towed the car without blinking an eye. We are told by the Town of Wrentham police that the car is legally parked where it is. The reason, the REAL reason these people park their van like this is because years before we even moved in, they stopped contributing to the cost of plowing that was shared by all five houses that needed to use the dirt, private street. Thus, the other three property owners down the hill, and the person who owns our house, were left picking up the tab if they wanted to get in or out in the winter. In past years, it was only difficult a few days, so the far left rental property people sort of dealt with the difficulty. The other two homeowners apparently bought four-wheel-drive cars/trucks so that they could get through the snow without having to have the road plowed. This year, however, with the cold temperatures and amounts of snow with each storm, the snow has not gone away.
The guy that owns the "last house on the left" has had to pay a plow to take care of the entire street as his tenants couldn't get oil delivered a few weeks ago as the truck refused to traverse the sketchy conditions of the hill with all the ice and deep snow ruts. Even with the road plowed, the middle-left people refuse to bring their van down the road to their own property.
It is difficult to determine what portion of the road is considered part of the town and where our property begins, since the van could otherwise be considered to be trespassing on space that our landlord owns. Then again, with the private street, there is no enforceable traffic law. Each house from down the hill has a clause in its deed, as does ours, that allows vehicles to pass in the "normal ways" in which vehicles might use a road. I do not believe this technically involves parking, but it would take a private tow to enforce and then the people might argue in small claims court that they had a "right" to park where they are parked.
It is difficult to see to leave the street with their van where it is. Personally, I'd be afraid my vehicle would be struck by traffic or plows as theirs is situated. However, they apparently do not care about their van so much. Not only that, but each time we look out our windows or door, we see their decrepit van as a dark, gray blotch on our view and a constant reminder of their laziness, their lack of personal responsibility and lack of care or common courtesy.
A friend and business associate of mine, Anne Marie Bennett, who owns www.KaleidoSoul.com, created a Soul Colors calendar that stands in a CD case on a desk top and includes a quote for each month on the calendar side, with journaling and collage-creating tips and ideas on the back. For September of this year, the quote she included is as follows: "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." This quote it attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.
I have been thinking about this quote quite a bit lately with this latest blight from the nastily-named neighbor from "down below." It's hard enough not to let the every day slights of people cutting you off in traffic or in line at the bank or grocery store get to you. It's difficult to "let it go" and "let it be." It's effortful to breathe deeply and close our eyes for a moment to refocus our attention on our own selves and lives. When someone races toward the register with their over-stuffed grocery cart while you walk to the line with your single small basket of three items and a gallon of milk, you stand behind them and realize that your reaction is what counts in your life. It is not their rudeness that means anything. After they leave the store, they won't even think about you at all. You might mutter over them all afternoon, ruining the ability to consider the slant of the sun at that time. So, you can say Gandhi's words in your head as you wait your turn and their credit card fails or they need a price check or argue extra minutes over the coupon that doesn't work that they present. It's all "over" in few enough minutes and you can walk out of the store feeling pretty good about yourself, not getting upset and then notice the color of the clouds in the sky.
It's a lot harder when the "person in line" is actually parking on what you think might be your lawn. It's harder when the person litters in your yard nine months out of the year. It's quite difficult when you can't see around the irresponsibly parked, me-first attitude their parking demonstrates to you as you inch out into the oncoming traffic lane to know whether it's safe to proceed. And, yet, I am reminded of another tenet of Buddhism and meditation that is tossed around, which is that the yogi is like a mountain around which weather passes. No matter how blustery, snowy or wind-whipped it may be, the mountain remains through it all. I consider Buddhists who are presently suffering torture by the Chinese army. Their beliefs are steadfast as the army might break them literally, yet they cannot break them figuratively. If I consider that for one second, I have to realize that the van is not parked inside my head and that only I can park it in my head or keep it a no parking zone.
What dirty feet attempt to make their way into your life/day? What vans try to park in front of your clear view? Is there some kind of doormat you lay out to keep the feet from entering? What do you use as a "no parking" sign to keep the van from your mind? Feel free to comment in answer to these questions or to email me privately.
The "last house on the right" houses a dysfunctional family. The male head of household is not the father of the two boys. One boy now seems to go to work since graduating from high school. However, he was a known and convicted drug dealer at one point. His worst offense is driving his truck at a high rate of speed up and down the dirt road. His younger brother, the same age as Claudia, is a bit more troublesome as he is regularly dropped off sometime between midnight and four or five in the morning, and instead of driving him to his own driveway, his friends stop directly in front of our house with their music blaring and lights shining, open and close car doors several times and then turn around in our driveway, which causes our dogs to bark between those hours of the night. Once the car leaves, the boy regularly serenades us, at the top of his lungs, as he meanders drunken/drugged down the road to his house.
The other family, the one with the disparaging nickname, wreaks all kinds of havoc in our life and has since we moved here five years ago. It began with the trash. This family does not use trash bags. They "recycle" plastic bags from Target and other stores. These do not tie closed, of course, and so attract animals and birds that tear the contents of the bags apart and all over our lawn. Because of the private street, all trash goes at the corner, which happens to be our yard. This family also puts the trash out at night, so the animals have all night to get into the contents. Yes, there is a law in town that says trash is to be put out the morning of trash pick up. No, this family does not heed this law. They do not heed the other trash rules, such as using a purple trash bag after filling one trash bag. They place piles of torn up linoleum right on our lawn, which, of course, the trash people do not take. They let styrofoam meat packaging blow off their recycling bin across our lawn. The birds and animals pull apart the small non-trash plastic bags they use for trash and we find chicken bones, used menstrual products and all manner of bio-hazard trash in our yard spring, summer and fall. The trash department has repeatedly sent them letters about proper trash handling, to no avail.
This family did not license a dog they had, nor did they keep its vaccinations up to date, so when their vicious dog escaped from them and attacked our dog in our own yard one day, our dog was quarantined as a risk for rabies for several weeks. Their dog was vicious because it did not get out to get exercise and it was regularly tied out in the hot sun to a rotting camper-trailer in their yard. It was left without water in the sun. The tie was less than six feet long as it was a leash, not a real rope or chain, even. We felt badly about causing them trouble by calling the dog officer, but it was animal abuse as far as we were concerned.
So, rather than tie the dog out, the father in the family would come home from work and walk the dog up the street, to our yard, to let the dog crap and pee in our yard along the edge of the road/grass. Yes, there are dog doo-doo laws in our town. No, these people do not care. It was apparent that after getting a letter from us with the vet bill for our mangled Chihuahua, which they took six months to pay, that the father in the house felt we somehow deserved to be shit upon, literally.
The son, also not the biological child of the male head of household in their home, was two years ahead of Claudia in school. He started selling drugs three years ago right out in the open down the street. For two years, we reported the activity and license plates of the cars that came by full of high school kids, to the police. They did nothing. While it was not ideal having someone dealing drugs a hundred feet from our house, it would not have been so bad if the kids buying drugs did not come and go at all hours of the day and night, with loud music, slamming doors and speeding on the short, dirt road. We were concerned more about them running over one of our dogs or kids than about the drug dealing itself. Let's be realistic: it's everywhere. Thankfully, the son graduated and moved out, with the vicious dog.
The latest infraction with the winter weather we've had is that the ill-named neighbor now parks at the top of the street, perpendicular to the main road. They drive an old van. Thus, when you are trying to pull out of the street, it's like having a stockade fence to your right that meets the road onto which you're turning. I cannot believe it is legal to park like this. I consider the City of Worcester, where we used to live, and Cambridge or Boston as examples and think that the police would have already ticketed and towed the car without blinking an eye. We are told by the Town of Wrentham police that the car is legally parked where it is. The reason, the REAL reason these people park their van like this is because years before we even moved in, they stopped contributing to the cost of plowing that was shared by all five houses that needed to use the dirt, private street. Thus, the other three property owners down the hill, and the person who owns our house, were left picking up the tab if they wanted to get in or out in the winter. In past years, it was only difficult a few days, so the far left rental property people sort of dealt with the difficulty. The other two homeowners apparently bought four-wheel-drive cars/trucks so that they could get through the snow without having to have the road plowed. This year, however, with the cold temperatures and amounts of snow with each storm, the snow has not gone away.
The guy that owns the "last house on the left" has had to pay a plow to take care of the entire street as his tenants couldn't get oil delivered a few weeks ago as the truck refused to traverse the sketchy conditions of the hill with all the ice and deep snow ruts. Even with the road plowed, the middle-left people refuse to bring their van down the road to their own property.
It is difficult to determine what portion of the road is considered part of the town and where our property begins, since the van could otherwise be considered to be trespassing on space that our landlord owns. Then again, with the private street, there is no enforceable traffic law. Each house from down the hill has a clause in its deed, as does ours, that allows vehicles to pass in the "normal ways" in which vehicles might use a road. I do not believe this technically involves parking, but it would take a private tow to enforce and then the people might argue in small claims court that they had a "right" to park where they are parked.
It is difficult to see to leave the street with their van where it is. Personally, I'd be afraid my vehicle would be struck by traffic or plows as theirs is situated. However, they apparently do not care about their van so much. Not only that, but each time we look out our windows or door, we see their decrepit van as a dark, gray blotch on our view and a constant reminder of their laziness, their lack of personal responsibility and lack of care or common courtesy.
A friend and business associate of mine, Anne Marie Bennett, who owns www.KaleidoSoul.com, created a Soul Colors calendar that stands in a CD case on a desk top and includes a quote for each month on the calendar side, with journaling and collage-creating tips and ideas on the back. For September of this year, the quote she included is as follows: "I will not let anyone walk through my mind with their dirty feet." This quote it attributed to Mahatma Gandhi.
I have been thinking about this quote quite a bit lately with this latest blight from the nastily-named neighbor from "down below." It's hard enough not to let the every day slights of people cutting you off in traffic or in line at the bank or grocery store get to you. It's difficult to "let it go" and "let it be." It's effortful to breathe deeply and close our eyes for a moment to refocus our attention on our own selves and lives. When someone races toward the register with their over-stuffed grocery cart while you walk to the line with your single small basket of three items and a gallon of milk, you stand behind them and realize that your reaction is what counts in your life. It is not their rudeness that means anything. After they leave the store, they won't even think about you at all. You might mutter over them all afternoon, ruining the ability to consider the slant of the sun at that time. So, you can say Gandhi's words in your head as you wait your turn and their credit card fails or they need a price check or argue extra minutes over the coupon that doesn't work that they present. It's all "over" in few enough minutes and you can walk out of the store feeling pretty good about yourself, not getting upset and then notice the color of the clouds in the sky.
It's a lot harder when the "person in line" is actually parking on what you think might be your lawn. It's harder when the person litters in your yard nine months out of the year. It's quite difficult when you can't see around the irresponsibly parked, me-first attitude their parking demonstrates to you as you inch out into the oncoming traffic lane to know whether it's safe to proceed. And, yet, I am reminded of another tenet of Buddhism and meditation that is tossed around, which is that the yogi is like a mountain around which weather passes. No matter how blustery, snowy or wind-whipped it may be, the mountain remains through it all. I consider Buddhists who are presently suffering torture by the Chinese army. Their beliefs are steadfast as the army might break them literally, yet they cannot break them figuratively. If I consider that for one second, I have to realize that the van is not parked inside my head and that only I can park it in my head or keep it a no parking zone.
What dirty feet attempt to make their way into your life/day? What vans try to park in front of your clear view? Is there some kind of doormat you lay out to keep the feet from entering? What do you use as a "no parking" sign to keep the van from your mind? Feel free to comment in answer to these questions or to email me privately.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Green with envy over friends who live in Fla. or Calif.?
How to cure the winter blahs is my focus today. As another friend said about her newsletter lately, she writes things sometimes that remind her, too, of things about which she herself needs confirmation. How might I solve the dilemma of winter? Here are some options:
1. The best one I thought of is "best" because it is free: go to Home Depot, Lowes or another local greenhouse where you can walk amongst greenery for a while. Breathe deeply and sneak a finger into the moist soil of one of the heartier plants that won't balk at your intrusion. Gently touch the leaves and marvel at the blooming flowers you will find. I'm doing this on Saturday morning, whether it's snowing or not.
2. Visit the Isabella Stewart Gardner Museum in Boston. They have courtyard with a glass roof so they have green grass and plants growing all year long. It's free if you name is Isabella on any day of the year or free on your birthday.
3. Visit any museum. The MFA-Boston has plenty of floral paintings, just skip those of Boston Common in the snow. Check out the Grecian urns and pottery where everyone is naked or half-naked: clearly it was warm as they ran all those races. Check out the new wing and let me know how it is!
The New England Aquarium is pricey, but worth the trip. You might wonder why the penguins are inside when their natural habitat is very much like Boston Common. However, you can spend hours sitting on the bench watching the tropical fish and dreaming of snorkeling in some aquamarine sea. There's always just a short walk to the North End from there for warm, hearty Italian food and wine to warm you and then pastry for dessert.
Both the MFA and Aquarium have coat checks, so you can bring regular shoes and don't have to carry coats, hats and mittens.
For those of you suffering, but not near Boston/New England: check out whatever museum you keep meaning to go to but just never seem to find a chance.
4. Go the a Y and pay the single-use fee to swim! Other clubs have this option, so call whichever one is closest to you and make waves! Some hotels also offer a pool-use option, so check them out, as well.
Let me know if you end up with a not-free trip to the local greenhouse by emailing or commenting with the name and a picture of the plant you end up bringing home.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Options at the Post Office
As promised, this blog will contain useful/helpful information now and again.
The other day, I was at the post office in Hopkinton, MA. The people who work at that location make me nuts as they have barely-contained ire for customers. The customer in line ahead of me needed to be sure of the arrival of a letter, and the postal employee spoke in confusing circles rather than ask exactly what the customer needed and then offered what would best serve that need.
It then occurred to me that many people who do not ship items on a regular basis probably have no idea what the options are, what they mean or how to go about using them. Thus, my blog post is about the options available when you need to post a letter or send a package using the U.S.P.S. I won't list prices as those are going up all the time, but you will get an idea of how to do some basic things you might need to do via mail at some point.
The gentleman in question needed what is commonly known at the p.o. as "delivery confirmation." This means that you complete a short form and get a little receipt with a number on it when you bring your letter or package to the post office. This service is a small extra charge on top of regular or Priority postage. You may then go online to look up the number, like a tracking number, to see the date on which the letter or package arrived at its destination.
If you want a person to sign for a letter or package, send it using Certified Mail. You will get the same type of receipt with a number on it for looking up on the Internet. The difference is that you will see the signature and name of the person who accepted the letter or package. Remember that this requires a person to be at the location upon delivery, or an "agent" to be at the location. This works well for businesses, but not so great for personal letters. With a personal letter delivered to a home, a Certified label will usually end up with the person getting a slip in his or her mailbox that he/she then needs to bring to the post office, during their business hours, in order to pick up the letter/package. When sending valuables or legal documents, this is a good method to use. It is more expensive than delivery confirmation, but provides a legal record that is useful in court matters, for example.
Priority Mail and Express Mail: what is the difference? Priority Mail is the not-guaranteed two-day mailing option for letters and packages. Express Mail is the overnight option available through the post office. Express Mail provides a delivery confirmation kind of receipt while there is no tracking available for Priority Mail unless you pay for the additional delivery confirmation option.
The post office also sells packages as well as offers free Priority Mail packaging. Be sure to know the difference when you arrive at the post office! Otherwise, you will end up paying for a box. The flat-rate Priority boxes/envelopes are great options as the weight doesn't have an impact on shipping cost. For heavy things, this is good deal. Remember to bring your own packing tape, regardless of whether you will buy the "Ready Post" products for sale or use the free Priority boxes as the post office will not allow you to use their tape.
Don't forget to buy stamps while you're there, as inevitably you will find yourself needing stamps within a day of being at the post office. The newest stamps being produced are all "forever" stamps. This means that if you have "old" forever stamps, they will always cover the postage for a first-class letter. You don't usually end up really saving anything, though, as a new forever stamp will just cost more if the first-class rate goes up.
Having berated the employees at the Hopkinton post office, let me say that there is a person named Tom at the Wrentham post office who is as kind and helpful as can be! Additionally, the North Attleborough, MA post office is always a pleasant place to do business. If you can't get to the post office but have supplies at home, you can always "click and ship" by going to the U.S.P.S. and entering the shipping information so that you can print postage right at home. This feature works very well when you know the dimensions and weight of what you're sending!
The other day, I was at the post office in Hopkinton, MA. The people who work at that location make me nuts as they have barely-contained ire for customers. The customer in line ahead of me needed to be sure of the arrival of a letter, and the postal employee spoke in confusing circles rather than ask exactly what the customer needed and then offered what would best serve that need.
It then occurred to me that many people who do not ship items on a regular basis probably have no idea what the options are, what they mean or how to go about using them. Thus, my blog post is about the options available when you need to post a letter or send a package using the U.S.P.S. I won't list prices as those are going up all the time, but you will get an idea of how to do some basic things you might need to do via mail at some point.
The gentleman in question needed what is commonly known at the p.o. as "delivery confirmation." This means that you complete a short form and get a little receipt with a number on it when you bring your letter or package to the post office. This service is a small extra charge on top of regular or Priority postage. You may then go online to look up the number, like a tracking number, to see the date on which the letter or package arrived at its destination.
If you want a person to sign for a letter or package, send it using Certified Mail. You will get the same type of receipt with a number on it for looking up on the Internet. The difference is that you will see the signature and name of the person who accepted the letter or package. Remember that this requires a person to be at the location upon delivery, or an "agent" to be at the location. This works well for businesses, but not so great for personal letters. With a personal letter delivered to a home, a Certified label will usually end up with the person getting a slip in his or her mailbox that he/she then needs to bring to the post office, during their business hours, in order to pick up the letter/package. When sending valuables or legal documents, this is a good method to use. It is more expensive than delivery confirmation, but provides a legal record that is useful in court matters, for example.
Priority Mail and Express Mail: what is the difference? Priority Mail is the not-guaranteed two-day mailing option for letters and packages. Express Mail is the overnight option available through the post office. Express Mail provides a delivery confirmation kind of receipt while there is no tracking available for Priority Mail unless you pay for the additional delivery confirmation option.
The post office also sells packages as well as offers free Priority Mail packaging. Be sure to know the difference when you arrive at the post office! Otherwise, you will end up paying for a box. The flat-rate Priority boxes/envelopes are great options as the weight doesn't have an impact on shipping cost. For heavy things, this is good deal. Remember to bring your own packing tape, regardless of whether you will buy the "Ready Post" products for sale or use the free Priority boxes as the post office will not allow you to use their tape.
Don't forget to buy stamps while you're there, as inevitably you will find yourself needing stamps within a day of being at the post office. The newest stamps being produced are all "forever" stamps. This means that if you have "old" forever stamps, they will always cover the postage for a first-class letter. You don't usually end up really saving anything, though, as a new forever stamp will just cost more if the first-class rate goes up.
Having berated the employees at the Hopkinton post office, let me say that there is a person named Tom at the Wrentham post office who is as kind and helpful as can be! Additionally, the North Attleborough, MA post office is always a pleasant place to do business. If you can't get to the post office but have supplies at home, you can always "click and ship" by going to the U.S.P.S. and entering the shipping information so that you can print postage right at home. This feature works very well when you know the dimensions and weight of what you're sending!
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