Do Inquiring Female and Male Minds Want to Know?

First published May 31, 2012 at http://www.hercircleezine.com/2012/05/31/do-inquiring-female-and-male-minds-want-to-know/

In the book WHAT’S YOUR DANGEROUS IDEA? (Edited by John Brockman, Harper Perennial, 2007) Steven Pinker’s contribution, “Groups of People May Differ Genetically in Their Average Talents and Temperaments,” references the infamous quote by former Harvard president, Larry Summers, wherein he suggested that men and women differ in the ways in which their brains function, and that this might contribute to the lack of equal representation of women in science and engineering. Pinker qualifies this by openly acknowledging that there are anomalies and exceptions, of course, to any generalization. The overarching point Summers wanted to make was to examine whether such differences exist, and what to do about them, not whether they proved anything else, such as whether women should be encouraged to enter fields like math and science. The comment was not about individual men or women. It was an intellectual inquiry. Whether one finds it appalling or not, the answer to such a question is interesting in its own right. I want to unequivocally state that a generality is not applicable individually. Whether such a generality MIGHT be true for any population (a race, ethnicity, or gender), at the individual level, it is entirely insignificant.

Unlike Pinker, I do not think this is a dangerous idea or question, in and of itself. What I want to think about in this forum is whether in searching for equality we really seek sameness, even if that is biologically and/or biochemically impossible (see article about Summers’s comments and the biological differences between genders here). Why is it “dangerous” that the minds of men and women might be different, generally speaking? This does not apply at an individual level, and so dashing women from mathematics or science programs makes no sense.

There are women like Lynn Margulis, who are perfectly suited to science, and who have proposed ground-breaking theory of which the impact would be no less controversial and/or significant than natural selection as Darwin proposed. (Margulis posits, and I’m over-simplifying, that “we,” as we think of ourselves as humans, are actually evolved to serve as hosts to bacteria. Thus, her idea might diminish the significance of evolution if all animals—including humans, of course—are walking (swimming, flying, etc.) habitats for bacteria. There are many women throughout history and today who are performing research who are exceptions to Summers’s generalized suggestion, and I only mention Margulis herein because I’m familiar with her work (and find it infinitely fascinating to consider).

Is it really “dangerous” (even if it is politically incorrect for a university president who is so often in the public sphere at such a renowned institution of higher learning) to consider that, generally speaking, men and women are different? I regularly joke about this with women friends. We commiserate lightheartedly about how much more capable we are at multi-tasking than are our husbands. We joke about their befuddlement when we sit at dinner and have the following type of exchange:

Wife: “TOMORROW JOSH HAS A DENTIST APPOINTMENT AT TWO-THIRTY, SO I’M LEAVING WORK EARLY TO TAKE HIM TO THAT. KIM HAS A DRAMA CLUB MEETING AFTER SCHOOL, AND WILL NEED TO BE PICKED UP AT FIVE. I’LL STOP AT THE STORE TO PICK UP WHAT WE NEED TO MAKE DINNER, INSTEAD OF YOU DOING THAT, SINCE I’LL BE NEAR XYZ GROCERY STORE AND YOU WON’T HAVE TIME TO STOP IF YOU’RE PICKING UP KIM.”

Husband, with confused countenance, asks, “WHAT?”

Wife: “UGH, I JUST NEED YOU TO PICK KIM UP AT FIVE.”

Husband: “I THOUGHT WE NEEDED BROCCOLI FOR DINNER? YOU ASKED ME YESTERDAY TO STOP AT ABC GROCERY STORE.”

Wife (sighs): “I’M GETTING THE BROCCOLI BECAUSE IF YOU GET KIM YOU WON’T HAVE TIME.”

Husband (trying to be helpful): “I CAN GET KIM AND THEN GET THE BROCCOLI.”

Exasperated Wife: “IT MAKES NO SENSE FOR YOU TO GO BACK ACROSS TOWN AT RUSH HOUR. I’M GOING TO BE NEAR XYZ GROCERY STORE AFTER JOSH’S DENTAL APPOINTMENT, SO I WILL LEAVE THERE AT THREE-THIRTY AND GET THE BROCCOLI AND THEN COME HOME.”

Husband: “WHY ARE YOU ALWAYS CHANGING THINGS?”

Wife: “WILL YOU JUST PICK UP KIM OR NOT?”
(The wife knows that the school is not near the grocery store, that her husband will leave work and just barely make the pick up at five o’clock without the extra stop. She also knows that because their son’s appointment is earlier, that she can easily stop at another grocery store to get what they need, which will allow them to all arrive home about the same time. She’s trying to save steps, save time, and meet the needs of the entire family with all of this jostling.)

Now, I offer the above scenario with the utmost respect for my husband. It’s not like he’s a simpleton. He is a carpenter and thus skilled in many ways. He builds acoustic guitars. His mind is more than capable of anticipating upcoming steps in complex ways, including building steps! (Do you have any idea how complex stairs really are to build? Do you ever even think of them, other than to assume their placement underfoot?) My husband figures out mechanical things, and enjoys doing so, which, I believe, is my point, Pinker’s idea, and Summers’s suggestion. It’s not like I couldn’t, or am not capable of figuring out why the switch on the stove burner is not working and what part is required to fix it. I’m certainly able to do that. The difference is that I don’t care to think about those things. Conversely, my husband could plan a birthday party, make travel arrangements and navigate the rat’s nest that is modern health insurance policy fine print. The difference there is that he’d rather fix the stove, and I’d rather doALL of the other tasks versus fix the stove. (For the record, again proving that generalities do not apply to individuals, we have friends for whom this is exactly the opposite: she grouts the tub and he does all the baking!)

Getting back to my conversation with my friend about our exasperation over husbands and their abilities versus our own, I offer up a wholly unscientific hypothesis about why men can’t change gears when it comes to picking up broccoli and kids after school. (Please take this with tongue planted firmly in cheek—I’m not a biologist or anthropologist!) I posit this: evolution has not caught up with modern culture and society. Men’s brains are focused on one thing. This is why they aren’t freaked out when they go back to work after having babies, possibly, as well. They were the hunters, and so had to sit still, quiet and focus. They had to be patient and not flitter about. They had to leave their young children to do this, too. Women, on the other hand, were the gatherers. We carried one child on a hip while we watched out for predators. We might have also watched the toddlers of our fellow women while collecting berries, roots, and mushrooms. While watching kids, being aware of predators and letting the babe on our hip nurse, we differentiated between the poisonous Panther and the delicious Blusher fungi. Bringing our discussion of Lynn Margulis full circle here, we perpetuated generations so that we might be the best habitats for bacteria!

Finally, what if we were all the same? Neither of us (speaking of my husband and myself) would be motivated specifically toward any kind of task, per se. We’d be apathetic about each, and not really take pride in our prowess nor harbor the same respect for one another’s greater abilities. Thus, in our own family, we celebrate rather than bemoan our differing skills, even if when amongst women friends, I share my exasperation over his inability to handle changes as I coordinate the revolving door of our family’s schedule, activities, appointments, and lists. For us in particular, and to refute the ability of a study claiming differences in male and female brains as having any individual applicability, my husband would prefer to be the “homemaker” and not leave the house five days a week for work. I’d prefer to work full-time and leave the laundry and housecleaning to him entirely—an arrangement we’re working toward as I anticipate my master’s program this fall.

"Stern Men" Book Review and Reflection

First published May 24, 2012 at http://www.hercircleezine.com/2012/05/24/stern-men-by-elizabeth-gilbert/

STERN MEN

Elizabeth Gilbert is most famous for her memoir writing, especially EAT, PRAY, LOVE. However, she began writing fiction, and STERN MEN (Houghton Mifflin, 2000) was her first novel. I drag this off my book shelf to re-read every few years because not only is the female protagonist, Ruth Thomas, exactly the smart, unconventional and determined character described on the book jacket, but also a woman with whom I feel some kinship.

There are so many books, articles and kitchen-table or restaurant booth conversations about how painful first sexual encounters are and how women never truly enjoy sex. It is refreshing to find a book wherein a woman not only likes sex, she loves it, even the first time. When I found Gilbert’s book so many years ago, I wanted to read it because it was set in New England and the main character was a described as an intrepid woman. The book jacket described it as a tale about a woman who wanted to work lobster boats. Having read Linda Greenlaw’s, THE HUNGRY OCEAN, the year before Stern Men was published, I thought a fictionalized account would be interesting.

STERN MEN is set on two small islands off the coast of Maine where the backdrop is more a classic star-crossed lovers tale the likes of which we’ve been reading for four hundred years in various incarnations of Shakespeare’s ROMEO AND JULIET. There are the standard characters, too, from stories like IT’S A WONDERFUL LIFE, in the form of the ornery, wealthy, old man (Mr. Ellis) who tries to control the islands like the Henry Potter character of Bedford Falls in Capra’s film. These somewhat cliché personalities, coupled with the cliché lobsterman personas might make one believe this story has been told far too many times, and a new setting isn’t enough to keep one’s attention.

That would all be true except for the refreshing character of Ruth Thomas. The way Gilbert writes the love scene between Owney Wishnell (our stand-in for Romeo) and Ruth is unique. We experience it through the mind of Ruth, who is honest and pragmatic, even in such a situation as first-time sex. I smile every time I read the scene. I love how Gilbert allows Ruth to want Owney, and not at all fear sex itself. Their first sex is not a fumbling, bumbling, painful ordeal. Rather, it is exactly what first sex should be: the flowering (versus de-flowering) of a woman in her body as a sexual being. Ruth and Owney explore one another without inhibition of any kind. And, as if the presence of a sex-positive, woman-positive story wasn’t enough, by the end of the book, Ruth has found a way to balance love, motherhood, marriage and work and has brought together a community once divided.

When I was young, I wrote a poem about this topic. I’ve lost it in many moves and changing computers over the years. It was about not “losing” anything but rather gaining new knowledge about myself when I first had sex. Women need stories that encourage and support healthy sexuality, and strong female personalities. STERN MEN is just such a tale.

"Underwire" by Jennifer Hayden - Interview About Women in Comix

First published May 17, 2012 at http://www.hercircleezine.com/2012/05/17/underwire-by-jennifer-hayden/

In the foreword to UNDERWIRE (Top Shelf, 2011), Jennifer Hayden tells us that she’s writing for women. She’s not only writing for women, since all the glossy magazines in the checkout line claim that, but she could be said to be writing for the everyday woman, the mom and wife. Most moms and wives are more aware of the glossies at the checkout than of what they might find at the local comic book store. Most adult women think comics are fodder for boys, of all ages. This is not true. (Comics these days are quite cerebral; one even won a Pulitzer!) The one area of comics totally under-appreciated is that of the adult woman.

There are plenty of coming-of-age stories from which to choose. A lot of these are just as good reading for adults. However, there are not so many comics or graphic novels written by and for “women of a certain age” range. With UNDERWIRE, Hayden reminds her reader, whomever that may be, that moms are people, too. They are imperfect, loving, individual people with dreams and hopes for themselves, their families and the world. That said, UNDERWIRE isn’t just Erma Bombeck with some pictures. Sure, there’s the sassy attitude. However, the book isn’t just about making light of loads of laundry or driving the kids to practice or class. Hayden presents us with slices of life, and some are poignant as well as hilarious.

Check out UNDERWIRE in its entirety through your local comic book store, order online directly from the publisher and get a taste of what the book is about at ACT-I-VATE. Jennifer Hayden’s new book The Story of My Tits is due out soon. See a preview at the publisher’s website.

Where women in comix are concerned, Jennifer and I were able to connect via e-mail and share thoughts on motherhood and art, creativity, work and women in the field. The Q&A below is an excerpt from our communications:

Kate: How has being a mother had an impact on your career, overall?

Jennifer Hayden: It’s funny. I always thought motherhood would be the end of my creativity. I thought I’d have no “self” after I became a mother, and certainly no concentration. But in fact, I think I became an artist AFTER I had kids. In this profound way, kids make you see yourself clearly—the good, the bad, and the ugly. They connect you at last with the world. And, they force you to tell the truth. You can bullshit everybody else, but you can’t bullshit your kids.

As far as my “career” goes, my kids were just at the right stage for me to have a little freedom and a little more of a work window by the time there was interest in my comix. So, motherhood didn’t hold me back from going to comic conventions and readings and getting to know people in the business, which was very important.

Kate: Do you think being a mom may be what drew you back to comix as a form of writing versus just prose?

Jennifer Hayden: No. Breast cancer did that. Breast cancer knocked the crap out of me, and I stopped wasting time with art forms that didn’t work for me. Art was this very “high” thing to me—painting, novels, poetry. None of it got down and dirty enough for me. I discovered graphic novels while recuperating from breast cancer in 2004, and realized that here, I could go back to where I started in childhood (when I read a lot of comix), and get really basic. I could be non-linear, foul-mouthed, highfalutin’, lowfalutin’, comic, tragic, and never have to worry about being consistent. For me, comix were the artistic equivalent of sitting babbling with a friend around a kitchen table while the kids scream around you and you ignore them (okay, so maybe in THIS way being a mom brought me to comix). I think I always felt that life was this soup, and comix allowed me to fully express this.

Kate: With regard to memoir in comix/graphic novels, is there a difference for family members since they are drawn versus how a prose memoir might describe a person? If you think there is a difference, what is it?

Jennifer Hayden: In some ways, because they are only cartoon-drawn, it takes a lot of the sting out of it. The character is clearly really not them, and it’s clear that you’re just fooling around. Hopefully you’re not being mean, drawing them with a big butt or something. I draw myself with a big carrot nose, and hopefully I depict myself more unflatteringly than everyone else around me. To me, that’s just good manners in autobiographical comix.

The interesting thing to me about drawing a memoir is that it can give you a chance to let other characters refute what your character is saying in the story. I’ve drawn some difficult memories about my mother in my upcoming book. Just using prose, I would have had trouble conveying what a pain in the ass I was being at the time, how I was helping to make things difficult. Drawing it, I can make it clear on my mother’s face just what she thinks of me and what a little creep I’m being. I was so relieved to discover this as I was working. But most importantly, the drawings make the relationships between characters crystal clear. And that, more than anything, is what I’m reaching for. Mind you, I haven’t shown any of this to my mother or the rest of my family and I’m pretty sure there will be hell to pay if they don’t get it.

Kate: What does your family have to say about your work?

Jennifer Hayden: My extended family hasn’t seen the longer memoir I’m doing, and they will kill me. Cement shoes, the whole thing. But right now I just have to get it down on paper. Then I’ll go over it all with them and they can take notes and there’ll be a quiz afterwards. And then they can kill me. My nuclear family is getting less amused about being the subject of my work. My husband wishes I’d never started this, though I’ve always handled his character with extreme delicacy. My son is barely aware of my work, and my daughter sometimes likes being a star in a comic. Really, they treat it as this thing that has nothing to do with them—proud of my success, giving me my space, allowing me to talk about it in front of them (while they try not to listen.)

Kate: The publisher with which you work is known for producing comix/graphic novels outside the industry standard of super hero stories. Has that caused their acceptance and promotion of your work to be the same as they might do for men writing/drawing for them? I’m curious whether you think comix publishers in general treat women author/artists differently than men.

Jennifer Hayden: My publisher did not treat me any differently than they treat their men author/artists, and I have to say I was touched by the quiet way they supported my book’s “femininity.” I thought Chris Ross’s book design was very sensitive to that, and I know Top Shelf researched the women’s market for me as they did their publicity. They supported my promotional efforts tremendously. Yet, they never called me a “women’s author” or in any way kept me separate. This is how I feel about my comix, that I’m both male and female, and that’s how they treated me. I absolutely love Top Shelf.

Kate: Do you hear from men about your work?

Jennifer Hayden: Absolutely! Men have been unbelievably supportive about my work. UNDERWIRE would never have happened without my mentor, Emmy-award-winning comix artist Dean Haspiel, who inspired me to create it for ACT-I-VATE, and Chris Staros, my publisher, who has been so patient and gentlemanly about giving me my creative space. So many men have come up to me at shows, buying my book, and not necessarily for their wives. I have humbly found out that we’re not so different, men and women, especially as parents. Especially as we stumble into middle age. And for those of us who make comix, it seems to me that all we want is another good comic to read, and we don’t care who made it.

"Womanthology: Heroic" Book Review and Reflection

first published may 10, 2012 at http://www.hercircleezine.com/2012/05/10/womanthology-heroic/

When I first started thinking about doing a series of reviews and articles about women in comics, (comix) and graphic novels, I did an internet search and learned aboutWomanthology: Heroic before it went to press. I finally got my hands on the book itself. The volume is over-sized and hefty. The book was put together in just months. An initial inquiry about writer/artist interest in the anthology was sent out May 17, 2011. The book was printed in December 2011. With the overwhelming interest, the group working together to publish what they thought would be a small volume put out a call for financial support. A small print run would be $25,000 and the team had just a month to raise funds. They raised that money nineteen hours after putting the request up on the internet. If anyone questions whether women “should be” considered where comix and graphic novels are concerned, an understated response might be, “Hell, yeah!” Apparently, women are interested in writing and drawing for comics, they’re interested in supporting projects for women in this area and they’re definitely reading comics, as well!

While I picked up the book to add to my collection of comix and graphic novels, and expected to find at the very least a few inspiring stories and some great artwork, I was not prepared for everything WOMANTHOLOGY: HEROIC is. The book itself is impressive, as I described above. However, what I found on the pages inside blew me away! The book is not just an anthology. It isn’t just a collection of stories in comic/graphic format. It includes submissions from young girls and teens and also a section where women who broke into the illustration field are honored. It features information about each contributor in sidebars throughout the text. There are for tips aspiring cartoonists, writers, and artists of every stripe: young, old and in-between, who want to draw or write or both. There is inspiration for anyone seeking any kind of creative life. In fact, whatever your dream, the words of wisdom provided may be applied to your pursuit of a personal goal of any kind.

The stories in WOMANTHOLOGY: HEROIC all center around the theme “heroic” from the title. The artists and writers were challenged to interpret heroism in their own way. There is everything here from the traditional super-hero genre to stories that turn it on its head to treatments that hint at everyday heroism in individual lives. Not all the artists or writers were already involved in the comix format, and many found their first publication credits in this book. Some submitted comix based on work they’ve been doing without recognition for some time, and others got a first taste of the writing/drawing life with WOMANTHOLOGY: HEROIC. Some stories focus on futuristic tales, while others honor women of the past. Women and girls of all ages contributed to the pages, the youngest being listed as ten and the oldest as seventy. With the variety of styles and stories, there is something for everyone in this book. There are so many examples of strong girls and women throughout, and of the infinite ways in which a story may be told through the combination of words and pictures.

If you buy WOMANTHOLOGY: HEROIC and still thirst for more of this kind of thing, no worries! IDW plans to publish a series of woman-conceived comics with “space” as the theme and as writers and artists broadly interpret it. Look for it at your local comic book shop!

"Habibi" by Craig Thompson - Book Review and Reflection

First published May 3, 2012 at http://www.hercircleezine.com/2012/05/03/habibi-by-craig-thompson/

HABIBI BY CRAIG THOMPSON

As part of inContext’s look at graphic novels and comics (comix), I couldn’t wait to read Craig Thompson’s HABIBI. Thompson is an amazing artist and a master of the graphic novel format. His art takes you beyond the story. He renders emotion in a way that is sublime. I was first introduced to Craig Thompson via BLANKETS, a coming-of-age graphic novel that can be enjoyed as much by adults as by teens. In fact, I’d argue an adult would like it even more for having been through all of what is portrayed amazingly well for an artist who himself was not many years beyond the tale he told. With all this anticipation, and then even glancing at the drawings in HABIBI, I looked forward to the story. However, I was disappointed.

Yes, the world is a mess. Yet, do we need another story, even one gorgeously told through highly artistic images, to remind us of this? The world at large seems a scary place for women so often. Do we need another tale of abuse or rape? Do we need reminders of the horrors women suffer now and have suffered in real and also in imagined histories like those of religious texts? Apparently, Craig Thompson thinks so in his most recent and highly lauded graphic novel, HABIBI.

HABIBI is critically acclaimed. For the art, the tender storytelling, and weaving of religions, yes, the book more than exceeds expectations. Yet, the basic premise I get from this text is that women will never find sex that includes love, and that for love, she might have to forsake sexual fulfillment. I sense the frustration of a man who cannot reconcile his bodily desires with his religious beliefs or determine how sex might not be depraved and a taking from a woman versus an intimate, shared, equal experience. Only through castration might a man not be damaging to a woman, it seems.

I am tired of stories about women “leaving their bodies” during sex to escape the act and/or the person with whom they’re having sex. I understand someone seeking to escape the physical pain of sexual assault and thus attempting to mentally vacate her body. Thus, Dodola leaving her body behind when her middle-aged first husband initiates her into sex when she is about ten years old is appropriate. It is also appropriate that she might seek to mentally “check-out” when she endures sexual attention when she prostitutes herself in exchange for food and provisions. Due to these experiences, Dodola is rendered wholly incapable of being at home in her body.

Men are depicted as merely lusting for women, at the very least. Typically, in HABIBI, men are insatiable, demonic, ravenous rapists and abusers. Even Zam, a child slave who escapes with the help of Dodola, cannot reconcile or come to terms with his own sexuality, and thus seeks to cancel it out. He believes if a man desires a woman, then he is depraved. In the book, we see plenty of depraved men, and actually none who are not. I suppose it stands that Zam cannot find a single example of a man who is not possessed by or obsessed with sex, yet I cannot also come to think of the sale of slaves, the sale of young girls and the subsequent sex acts as anything but criminal behavior. It is really rape and child molestation. So, we see men who would participate in these acts, not just men who might have an interest in sex. For Thompson, there is no middle ground.

Later in the story when Dodola comes to love and even desire Zam, whom she served as a kind of mother for nine years of his early life, she is relieved from this by Zam’s status as a eunuch. Dodola may long for a child of her own, Zam’s child, and yet she is happy to go without this in exchange for the platonic love Zam can provide. I’m not saying that Dodola should forsake Zam and his love just because he cannot function sexually or provide a child. However, Dodola is denied a positive sexuality and just accepts this in order to have shared love. The story ends when Zam and Dodola purchase a young girl, and we are left believing this is at least one woman who will grow up without a threat of having her future sexuality stolen from her. And, yet, with all the examples of child molesters, rapists, and a lively slave trade, whom might this child grow to love in her future? If all men are depraved, and potentially criminally prone in their depravity, who is there for Habibi when she is a woman?

I suppose it might be seen as a happy ending when Dodola and Zam are reunited, for what seems like the remainder of their lives, and they share a bond of love together. Dodola keeps fighting, and thus might be seen as a positive female heroine. For me, the ending is sad and hopeless, however, as I cannot imagine Dodola living without harassment in the street, not being raped or attacked yet again, or her and Zam’s adoptive daughter, Habibi, growing into adulthood without such a fate. I believe the larger story Thompson attempted to tell here was a person coming to terms with the varied religions of the world, and reconciling conflicting stories of the various religious texts. I believe he wanted us to believe in the happy ending, as well. This reader is not so naïve as to don the rose-colored glasses required to imagine such a possibility in the world Thompson provides for HABIBI.

All of the above said, HABIBI is an example of the epitome of what a graphic format can do for a story. Craig Thompson is incredibly talented. The intricacy of what is rendered in HABIBI is humbling. Every compliment one might pay to a drawing could be heaped on Thompson’s work and would still be understatement. Read this book and be initiated into the world of a master storyteller, and an artist beyond compare. It might seem incongruous to, on the one hand, walk away from a book disappointed in the tale it tells and yet compliment it so highly. However, with HABIBI I cannot ignore the art and the way in which the art tells the stories Thompson conveys in this book.