The Strength in Balance

When I think of "balance" I usually picture something like a mobile, which seems to effortlessly teeter and then right itself. It seems to "float" into balance. I see balance as a natural state, something I might return to if things were left to work themselves out. With enough time and stillness, my life would be balanced, right? Looking at balance in this way, it is no wonder many of my friends struggle ceaselessly and wonder why they, too, cannot find balance. We commiserate with one another, saying things like, "If I had more time, I'd be able to balance it all," or "If things would settle down for once..."

I attended a retreat recently. At the retreat, I met a yoga teacher ("A") with over twenty years teaching experience. This woman was the definition of exuberant and radiated a bliss that even Buddhist monks might envy. I could tell that she loved teaching yoga, so when the conversation traveled that path one afternoon, she freely and jubilantly taught everyone in the room how to perform a headstand. Not everyone could assume such a demanding position, per se, yet A's expertise allowed her to assist each person to her tolerance level and improve her practice, regardless. We talked about the purpose of poses, such as those that open the heart like camel and wheel. Conversation then addressed balance poses like crow and the aforementioned headstands. Because I liked crow so much, she taught me another pose, dying warrior.

Poses such as crow, the headstand and dying warrior are all about balance. In yoga, to maintain a balance pose, a lot of strength is required. As the result of these little conversations and private yoga consultations so generously given, I realized and verbalized my revelation that "balance takes strength." This has given me a new outlook on my schedule and on striving for that elusive balance we all seek in life. Now, I see balance as something that will require my strength to say "no" to commitments that would make me overcommitted, stressed out and lacking time to fit in normal meals, regular sleep and regular exercise. It will require my strength to stick to tasks that need completion without allowing time-sucking interruptions to take over.

Of course, like last week when my son's neck muscles went into a bizarre and sudden spasm for no apparent reason, there are times when we must urgently rearrange priorities. However, brownies for the PTO bake sale that you hear about the day before when you already have a deadline for two different jobs and your child has an orthodontic appointment are not what should be added to your already full schedule. Baking those brownies, if they will take you from regular sleep, be the "exercise" you get for the day or make you stressed so you are short on patience with those you claim to love and see as the most important people in your life, is something you must be strong enough to decline since they will send you off balance. You have to be strong enough to decline that which will send your world into earthquake mode.

While we can close a window so that a mobile might come to rest due to the lack of air flow, our lives cannot be lived without any breeze. It's as if we live in the jet stream; there is constant flow, which varies only in intensity. Like yogis, we must have strength in order to find and hold balance in our lives.